What happened to you?
by ChristineGrey
Summary: Alex has been asked this question by two people on the show. Who will be the third one to try? And will it be too late?
1. Ava

**Here's an interesting fact: ****Just yesterday I rewatched "The other side of life", not that I'm a huge fan of this eppi, but it just so happened to be the first DVD I found. 2 persons have asked Alex the exact same question on the show. One was Ava in "The other side of life" and the other one was the faith healer in "Lay your hands on me", so who will be the 3****rd**** one to try and will it be too late? **

**BTW for all my loyal readers: Chapter 9 of "Never gonna leave your side" and chapter 7 of "Help me forget" are currently in work!**

**Rating: Angst and mentioning of abuse, so be prepared. **

**This is a 3-chapter-story, there'll be two flashbacks into Alex's past. I've already started writing the other two, so it should be up soon! **

**Disclaimer: I would love to own grey's but unfortunately I still don't, so don't sue! **

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**What happened to you? **

"You're so good with me. Why can't you be this good with someone you have feelings for? What happened to you Alex?"

--

_The first time he heard the__ dull, disturbing noise he was only 5 years old. He'd been playing happily in his room when it started. _

_First, he thought nothing of it, but when it wouldn't stop he started to get terrified, especially when it seemed to pick up the pace every once in a while. _

_His __heart rate seemed to get faster simultaneously with the beating sound he could clearly hear coming from the other room until his heart beat so fast it made him start to cry. Even though he was scared to death by those sounds he stepped into the hallway, leaving the security of his own room behind. He took slow, tentative steps towards the upsetting noise. He was sure that it came from the living room. He'd brought Buddy, his cuddly toy dog with him for protection and his grip on the animals paw tightened with every step he got closer. His heart was still beating so fast it was starting to get difficult to breath and his chest felt like it was on fire. _

"_One two three one two three one two three one two three" He counted to distract him from what he feared he was going to find when he'd get to the source of the sound. _

_The beating wouldn't stop either and suddenly something else was audible, a moan followed by a short cry that sent shivers up and down his spine. It was the familiar voice of his mother, he'd recognize this voice immediately. He ran the last few steps when he found her lying on the floor, her nose bleeding and looking terribly odd, blood dripping from her nostrils. _

_The first thing he noticed was the empty scotch bottle next to her._

_The next thing he saw was his father. He had crossed the room in hurry and squatted down right in front of him. He could smell the stink of alcohol seeping though his pores, clearly he was wasted. Alex's eyes however were fixed on the lifeless body of his mother. The little boy had instinctively crossed his arms in front of his chest, pressing Buddy as tightly to his heart as possible. When his dad touched his shoulders Alex started trembling and couldn't think straight anymore._

"_That's what we do to sluts who cheat on their husbands son, you see that?" His dad pointed the finger in the direction of his mum. Alex didn't react until his dad started to shake him harshly. _

"_You see that son? That's what they deserve!" Alex couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He was scared out of his mind. Clearly the person in front of him wasn't his dad. "Dads don't scare their kids like that" He thought while two big tears made their way down his already flushed cheeks. That's when his dad got up again. _

"_You're already a wimp, but don't worry, I'm gonna teach you how to treat women" He muttered and left, letting Alex standing there in the doorway by himself. After he'd heard the door of the bedroom being slammed shut he moved forwards and kneeled down next to his mother. He didn't know what to do since he was only 5 years old. The only thing he could think of that would make her feel better was Buddy. So he placed his little dog next to her unconscious frame. _

"_Buddy's gonna protect you mum, don't worry, he's really strong!" He said and when her eyes fluttered open slightly he cuddled closer to her and his mum used the last bit of strength that was left in her to wrap her arm around his tiny body. _

--

He was so glad and relieved that Ava wasn't facing him so he didn't have to look her in the eye when he lied: "Maybe I don't remember."


	2. The faith healer

**Thanks for the reviews guys! You totally made my day! So here's the next update of this short story! Enjoy**

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**Chapter 2 **

Her eyes drilled deep into his soul. She knew. She probably knew the minute he first stepped foot into her room that something "dark" was in him. It scared the crap out of him. People weren't supposed to be able to read him that well. He'd spent years learning how to put on a faked façade, pretending to be that cocky jerk who doesn't give a damn about anything.

--

"_Get in here son"_ _His father shouted across the apartment. The pure sound of his voice was sickening and gave him goosebumps all over his body. Alex had been hiding under his bed for the last half hour with a pillow pressed tightly over his ears. He'd gotten used to this by now, which didn't exactly make it any less difficult or scary. But every time his father stumbled into the flat with a bottle of alcohol in his hand he knew he had to get out of the way as fast as possible. Or at least that was what his mom had told him to do. While he was blocking out the noises once again he pretended to be someplace else, like on an island all by himself with no one there to be scared of and no one he needed to take care of at the age of 6. _

_When the door to his bedroom opened and his father stumbled into his room. He literally froze and hoped that his old man was just too damn drunk to notice the little boy's hiding place under the bed. _

_But no such luck. _

"_Alex, come here!" He teased him, changing to a softer voice, like he would do it with a little dog or cat when he kneeled down next to Alex's bed and watched as the little boy slowly removed the pillow from his head. He didn't even have time to prepare himself when his father's rough hand grabbed him harshly and pulled him out from under the bed. Alex struggled to get to his feet but instead his dad just fastened the grip on his wrist and dragged him across the cold floor, not even caring the tiniest bit about the fact that his son was only dressed in shorts and that his knees started bleeding from the agonizing rubbing of the linoleum. _

_When they arrived in the living room, Alex recognized the picture he's seen several times before. There was broken glass lying around his mother, who was crawled up like a ball, trying to protect herself. She didn't move though. Whether it was because of the fear from her husband or whether she was really unconscious he wasn't sure of. Alex immediately tried to escape his father's grip to check on his mom but he would only squeeze it harder until his hand started to get numb. _

"_Mom" Alex screamed to get her attention. To get her to turn around or lift her head or open her eyes, but she didn't react. _

"_See that son?" His dad asked him with malice. Alex's eyes were glued to his mother's rigid body and he didn't react to the question. _

"_Go and kick her!" His dad ordered but still, Alex didn't move. _

"_I SAID GO AND KICK HER! She deserved this. She's a slut. She's been cheating on me with other men!" Besides feeling scared and frightened of his father Alex started to feel that this wasn't right. _

--

"You were hurt so badly that sometimes you wanna hurt other people, just to, just to spread it around."

--

"_No" came the simple reply from the little boys mouth. He wasn't gonna hurt his mother. No one in the world could make him do that. _

"_What are you saying son? You won't oblige? You're not gonna do what your father orders you to do?" Daddy Karev asked with a kind of cruelty that sent shivers up and down Alex's back. _

"_Yes" he simply said, watching his mother, praying that she was still alive. _

"_Well alright then." His father said and before little Alex even had time to react he felt his fathers fist connect with his face and the pain that followed afterwards was simply unbearable. He didn't cry tough. Alex didn't wanted to give him the satisfaction of being defeated. It was then that he started to feel resentful towards his dad and he obviously had every reason for it. _

_His father's hand slapped him several more times. He couldn't remember it afterwards because after one final hard punch he was thrown into the dark hole of unconsciousness. _

_--_

"You're a good boy Dr. Karev. A good, sweet boy. But you're not a very good man. What happened to you?"

"You're artery is shredding. You need surgery. I'm not a very good man but I do tell the truth. And the truth is, if you're not getting this surgery fast you're gonna die."

_The truth about her condition was all he could tell her, because the truth about himself would be overwhelming for anyone. _

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**Reviews are as always welcome. I'm hoping to have the final chapter up by tomorrow! **


	3. The last one

**Okay, so here's the last chapter of this short-story. It's kind of angsty, so be warned! **

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**What happened to you? - Chapter 3**

_She _was_ right all along_. Alex thought when he sat on Meredith's cold bathroom floor, knees pulled up to his chest, mirroring a frightened child's behaviour.

He'd hurt many people. Too many. And there wasn't a reasonable excuse. Not even one.

He didn't regret everything though because he'd at least succeeded in one thing, which still seemed to be the most important: Keeping people away. Away from his mind, from his background and even further away from his heart.

The only thing he kind of despised though, was how he'd treated Izzie when she was actually trying to be his friend, girlfriend, lover, whatever. The blond doctor's picture flew past him in an instant but he wasn't able to focus anymore and now it was too late anyway. Too late for her and too damn late for him. He quickly thought about what she'd do if she were the one to find his body and he could hardly believe that he was gonna hurt her even after he would be gone.

10 years ago he would probably have taken the "manly" way out. He'd have stolen his fathers gun and shot his brains out, but even now he couldn't help but feel like a defeated looser who was gonna take his own life like a girl.

The edges of his lips formed a small smile when he thought back how his mom used to say that "suicide is sin".

Two years later he'd been the one who had to find her with her wrists cut open in the bathtub, nearly drowning in her own blood.

What the hell was it with the Karev's slowly fading away in bathrooms? Even now it seemed kind of weird to him, why he'd chosen that place. Maybe it was something about the cleanness of said room that made it somehow easier.

He actually felt kind of relieved when the medication he'd stolen from the hospital started to kick in and besides the known side effects that half a bottle of Grey's best Tequila had on you, the drowsiness quickly took over and everything started to spin around him until he couldn't hold himself up any longer. His head landed with a sickening sound on the cold tile floor.

"Oh my good Alex, what are you doing?" The familiar voice said behind him. He wasn't even able to make out her silhouette in the dimly lit bathroom anymore but he could feel her kneeling down next to him, reaching for his pulse on his neck.

"Alex!" She shook his shoulder and he slammed his eyes shut. Why the hell couldn't she just leave him alone and let him go with at least a little bit of dignity left? Now she was gonna try and save his pathetic ass. That was just perfect.

"Alex!" She cried but he still didn't respond, which was partly on purpose and partly because the drugs were slowly kicking in. She'd probably put one and one together as soon as she saw the bottle and the meds on the floor next to him.

"Alex, make yourself sick! Please!" She pleaded with him but he still didn't oblige. This should be it and it just fucking hurt even more that someone was watching it happen. They should just let him freaking die the slow and painful death he deserved.

Suddenly, without any warning his mouth was torn open and slim, feminine fingers made their way down his throat. Before he knew it, a wave of nausea hit him and he didn't even have the energy left to fight it, so he vomited all over himself, the pills that came back out not quite digested enough for his liking. The alcohol mixed with the contents of his stomach filled the room with an unbelievably revolting smell.

"Alex, can you hear me? You need to stay with me okay?" He tried but the tiredness took over before he heard another word.

--

Surprisingly, he woke up in his own bed and had no idea how the hell he got there, let alone why he was still alive. When he opened his eyes, they were met by the extremely bright sunshine coming through the windows, indicating that it was the next morning and he moaned slightly because of the severe headache that had been triggered by said light.

"Alex" He heard Meredith's voice coming from beside him and he turned his head in her direction, to check that he was really still alive. But the throbbing pain in his skull was enough to confirm it, because dead people couldn't experience this kind of pain, or at least he hoped they didn't.

"Alex, why did you do this to yourself?" She asked in a soothing and quiet voice, probably knowing that if she spoke to loudly, she'd just intensify the headache tenfold.

"Because the world's better off without me" He replied dryly, not wanting to show her that he was weirdly glad about the fact that she'd saved his life. If anything this was just another metaphor for their sick and twisted brother/sister-relationship. He let his eyes flutter close again, hoping she would leave him be.

"Alex" She spoke his name in a chastising tone, trying to make him feel better and letting him know that the world wouldn't be a better place if he weren't here anymore.

"Alex, what happened to you?" _There it was, the inevitable question he dreaded. _

He just moaned slightly again and wasn't prepared for her to speak up before he could say anyhting.

"I'm in therapy." At that Alex quickly opened his eyes again to catch her expression. He saw that she wasn't joking.

"My mother tried to kill herself when I was kid, after the love of her life had disappeared."

"My mother killed herself when I was a kid, after she couldn't take my dad's beatings anymore." Somehow it just slipped out and he was sure that Meredith could tell from his facial expression that he didn't want to reveal that much. Somehow they'd always had this connection and he knew that at least she wouldn't treat him differently. Or at least he hoped she wouldn't.

Meredith tried to hide the shock about what he'd just revealed to her. She knew that a "I'm sorry" was not what he wanted to hear, because she felt the same way.

"Alex, you need to get some help. I do never ever wanna find you like that again. Please." She looked at him with pleading eyes.

Here they were, two broken people, trying to put their lives back together piece by piece. No one else could have had the same effect on him that made him nod his head in understanding.

"God, how screwed up are we?" He asked, letting a quick smile cross his features when he said it.

"Just about enough" Meredith replied, also forcing herself to smile a little.

**The End **

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Authors note: I know that Alex's mother didn't kill herself, or at least not when he was a kid, but I hope you get why I chose to do this. I wanted to show another connection between Mer and Alex and Meredith's revelation in "Losing my mind" fit so perfectly, so I hope you're not mad that I changed Alex's story a little! I hope you enjoyed it and please leave a review!

**-Christine**


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